But I was chatting with a friend yesteday (Hi, Paul!) and we got to wondering about whether Peter Parker "really would" have "radioactive blood".

The spider that gave him his abilities took a MASSIVE dose of radiation. (It takes a LOT of radiation, all at once or cumulatively, to actually render something "radioactive".) And this radiation was imparted to Peter thru the spider's venom when it bit him, as its dying act. The radiation from that venom zipped thru Peter's body and did a quick resorting of his DNA, giving him rough equivalents of the spider's natural abilities (tho not all of them!) -- but did the radiation linger? Radiation, by definition, radiates. Even a chunk of uranium eventually "decays" into lead. Was the radiation that entered Parker's body in some way self-sustaining, or, having done the DNA shuffle, did it eventually wear off?

Could a geiger counter help you find Spider-Man?

It makes sense that Bruce Banner is radioactive at some level. The gamma radiation did not rework his DNA, giving him the "ability" to turn into the Hulk. It's the radiation rampaging thru his system that works that change. And the very fact that it is a CHANGE, a temporary event, tells us something, too. The spider-bite worked a permanent transformation in Peter Parker's DNA, but Banner keeps switching back and forth.

It could be argued, too, that the Fantastic Four are not "radioactive". Much like the spider-venom, the "cosmic rays" worked a "permanent" change in their physical makeup. One can imagine the rays passing THRU each of them, clipping various parts of their DNA on the way, and causing the change. But the radiation did not need to linger.

Early Marvel, as Roger Stern is wont to point out, treated radiation like magic. So many characters, good and evil, have their "origins" tied directly or indirectly to atomic radiation. The FF, the Hulk, Spider-Man, the Sandman, the Red Ghost and his Super Apes, the Radioactive Man (a'doy!), Doctor Octopus, etc, etc. Even the X-Men have "radiation origins", albeit once removed in their cases.

But for most of those characters, the radiation is played as a one-time-only "event", and once it's happened, there's no need to consider the characters to be in some fashion PERMANENTLY irradiated.

So, listen bud, does Spider-Man REALLY have "radioactive blood"?

Radioactive spit. Radioactive sweat. Radioactive tears. Radioactive stomach acids. Radioactive phlegm. God help us if he gets a cold!!

And, of course, the most basic problem with this, even beyond the "ick" factor, is the EXTRAPOLATION factor. For nearly fifty years, Spider-Man has been said to have "radioactive blood". Nothing else was ever mentioned.

Then along comes a writer who decides he has to THINK about it. Now, in Ye Olden Days, THINKING about Spider-Man would give us new ways for him to use his webbing. THINKING about Spider-Man would give us the "untold" story of his parents. THINKING about Spider-Man would give us a tale of young Aunt May. It could even give us Spider-Man with six arms.

But if THINKING about Spider-Man took us down a sexual path -- well, that was for office banter, NOT for inclusion in the books themselves. Because that would not be appropriate for the target audience.

That "Reign" was conceived, approved, and published, tells us a lot about modern Marvel, and modern comics in general. And what it tells us is not good.