| Posted: 30 April 2024 at 7:44pm | IP Logged | 1
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"Since I don’t think women should feel compelled to take their husband’s name when marrying, I don’t know WHAT to make of this!!"
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Hah. Even to my friends on Facebook, I just changed it there without explaining it, because the true reasons are a bit long-winded. I have a unique circumstance for it, though. And there was no 'compelling', here - in fact my wife was actually against it at first. What even most of my friends didn't know was that I actually had no blood ties to the name "Valenti" - my mother kept it from a previous marriage. And as for my father, well, he was mixed up with some of the folks portrayed in GOODFELLAS, so there was no way I'd want that name.
So, I lived with a name that never really "belonged" to me, and that always did bother me a bit. And because of that, I didn't even consider the topic of my wife changing her name to that. I would have been perfectly fine with her keeping hers, anyway. I told a story once about how she and I were old friends from high school and nothing happened then because I was too shy to express my feelings. We didn't truly get together for another 20 years after we partied ways. So even though the marriage is relatively new (also delayed a few years due to COVID), I've known her and her family for over half our lives. Then one day during our prolonged engagement I thought, "wait, what if I did the reverse?", and the specific reasons for it above just made more and more sense to me. My wife needed some convincing, too. But in this case, it felt right to me - and now I have a name that "belongs" to me. If any of the above circumstances were different, it would never have happened.
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