| Posted: 22 May 2008 at 11:44pm | IP Logged | 8
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Ok - back from Indy Jones - here's the article from the Nose Magazine regarding possible solutions to the immigration problem - from issue 26 - Feb 1995.
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IDEA: Deport all Hispanics on sight, regardless of citizenship
PRO: Has backing of of various ultra-conservative and paramilitary organizations
CON: Outdated Constitution forbids it; overnight collapse of California economy; too much paperwork.
IDEA: Moat along border, filled with piranhas and alligators
PRO: Low maintenance cost - small number of animals introduced as breeding stock, largely fed by hopeful illegal immigrants
CON: Possibility of deadly animals escaping to beaches and wharves of Southern California, with potentially devistating effect on tourist trade. (Also, piranhas could attack alligators.)
IDEA: Deputize large number of willing [angry people] with guns to patrol border
PRO: Doing something they love, [angry people] will work for little or no pay; boon to liquor and ammunition sales.
CON: High likelihood of lawsuits after [angry people] indiscriminately shoot random citizens.
IDEA: Border patrolled by genetically engineered giant lizards, apes and pterodactyls.
PRO: Potential revenues from Border Force spinoff cartoon series and merchandizing rights.
CON: Gravity would crush giant animals under their own weight.
IDEA: Plant large, carnivorous Venus flytraps along border.
PRO: Also provides convenient disposal of collected roadkill; reduces insect population in area.
CON: Plants unable to distinguish between illegal aliens and curious children.
IDEA: Help build Mexican economy through cooperation and investment.
PRO: Good for US economy and US-Mexico relations.
CON: Even more unpopular with US voters than illegal immigrants are.
IDEA: Remove incentive to enter US by destroying US economy
PRO: Already underway.
CON: Largely defeats purpose.
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That gives me a laugh.
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