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John Byrne
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Grumpy Old Guy

Joined: 11 May 2005
Posts: 132443
Posted: 16 February 2024 at 2:58pm | IP Logged | 1 post reply

Gonna grumble a bit.

We are now one quarter of the way into the 21st Century. Helicopters fly/flew on Mars. Satellites guide our travels around Earth. Humans live far beyond our planet’s atmosphere, and make plans for permanent habitats on other worlds of the Sun’s family. People are living longer than they ever have.

Yet, whenever someone dies we fall back on superstition to acknowledge that death. “Rest in Peace” we say, as if the deceased is in some danger of becoming a tormented, wandering spirit, like Hamlet’s father or Jacob Marley.

Even the mechanism of death we wrap up and disguise. The individual has “departed”, or “passed on”, or “gone to a better place”.

We seek comfort when we lose a loved one, but that comfort is for the living. The dead are past caring. There is no circumstance under which they will not rest in peace.*

So, I ask, please give some thought before reacting to a death with a knee jerk “RIP”.

————-

*Even imagining a scenario in which the corpse is desecrated, the original owner isn’t there anymore.

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Fred J Chamberlain
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Joined: 30 August 2006
Location: United States
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Posted: 16 February 2024 at 3:20pm | IP Logged | 2 post reply

Since moving on from childhood beliefs that I was
indoctrinated into, I have never thought that there were
more appropriate responses, than "I sorry for your loss" or
thinking of you and all who loved ___"
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Peter Martin
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Joined: 17 March 2008
Location: Canada
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Posted: 16 February 2024 at 4:35pm | IP Logged | 3 post reply


RIP is a kneejerk response I try to avoid.

I think most people just use it as an unthinking fallback -- an alternative fallback that expresses some kind of respect for the dead person would be useful.

Maybe: Remember Them Well?
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Dave Bensett
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Joined: 24 July 2021
Location: Canada
Posts: 12
Posted: 16 February 2024 at 4:40pm | IP Logged | 4 post reply

"Sorry for your loss...move on"

Roy
IT Crowd
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Mark Haslett
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Joined: 19 April 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 6154
Posted: 16 February 2024 at 5:27pm | IP Logged | 5 post reply

I feel pressure to use it and hesitate in a search for something better and
sometimes can’t seem to come up with anything better.

I agree it is not very sufficient and is borderline offensive to my sense of
truth.

When I make peace with myself over using it, it is because I do wish good
things on people who die- especially if I feel indebted to them.

If a person had a troubled life, it is easy to feel their death is a comparative
peace and I’m sometimes glad to realize this.
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ron bailey
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Joined: 16 October 2016
Location: United States
Posts: 945
Posted: 16 February 2024 at 6:05pm | IP Logged | 6 post reply

Rest In Peace ... in our hearts.
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Steve Coates
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Joined: 17 November 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 759
Posted: 16 February 2024 at 6:40pm | IP Logged | 7 post reply

I rarely comment on the death of anyone. If I know the deceased from their work as an actor, artist or performer, I cannot miss them. I only know them through their work and can always revisit their movies, paintings, comic books, novels and music.

When I have a personal connection with the deceased or someone close to the decease, I give my condolences in the simplest manner possible. Nothing I can say will ease their mourning. 

I find the "Rest In Peace" benediction loathsome and makes me question religious beliefs, as it is associated with sleeping in the grave until resurrection and judgement day. What a dreadful thought to have and keep about your deceased loved ones and even yourself.
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John Byrne
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Grumpy Old Guy

Joined: 11 May 2005
Posts: 132443
Posted: 16 February 2024 at 7:36pm | IP Logged | 8 post reply

To quote Burt Reynolds in THE END, death is “lying in the ground with dirt on your face and holding your breath forever!”
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Mitch Denoyer
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Joined: 21 September 2006
Posts: 134
Posted: 16 February 2024 at 11:37pm | IP Logged | 9 post reply

I had an uncle who was an ass.  When he “kicked it”, I got a perverted giggle out of listening to the priest lie through his teeth during the eulogy. 
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John Byrne
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Grumpy Old Guy

Joined: 11 May 2005
Posts: 132443
Posted: 17 February 2024 at 1:04am | IP Logged | 10 post reply

I think it was Voltaire who supposedly said the living deserve our respect, the dead deserve the truth.
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Joe Smith
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Joined: 29 August 2004
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Posted: 17 February 2024 at 2:11am | IP Logged | 11 post reply

My brother is an ex-Airborne Ranger who did way too many ops in the 90’s
and early 2000’s. He came back a scarred human, and succumbed to a
religion our family cannot comprehend. He praises King Jesus Christ at
every chance, and scares the feces out of us. We got along like brothers,
but, now, we truly butt heads. Mostly on religion and the afterlife.

I tell him we are a bag of bones and meat, and that we should live life like
every day is our last. Love our family and friends without a safety net. This
angers him for some reason.

Whatever ideals one chooses, it’s the gratitude of the inspiration you
provided, the trust you instilled upon your family and friends, and a trail of
effort and focused desire in your wake. That’s what I’ll remember.

And I’ll thank you endlessly.
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Jim Burdo
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Joined: 19 April 2020
Location: United States
Posts: 358
Posted: 17 February 2024 at 5:41am | IP Logged | 12 post reply

Better than "Rest in Power".
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